Random, indeed
by the Unrequited Lover
Summary: My very sweet revenge on Remus Lupin...mm, werewolf....for those who have read BTT, only. Remus snogs a mysterious girl- but who is she! Lose thirty points if you don't know- are you really stupid or did you just wake up?
1. sweet revenge

_Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter, not I. And contrary to popular belief, ahem, swordsrock, I do not plan to steal Remus Lupin from her. And also contrary to Urban Legend, ahem, swordsrock, I do NOT have him whipped. He's just very docile, heehehe, a tame werewolf._

_A/n: sorry, BTT fans, this one will be a bit more sane. It also doesn't really make sense to anyone who hasn't read chapter three of BTT. And if you think that because the girl's got my pen name, she's a Mary sue, think again. Once more, there's a reason for this. Read BTT, and bear with me. There's more random out there, I assure you. Oh, and I don't mention her house because people are still guessing! hehehehe!_

"Hey, Moony!" James called out after he had flown off the pitch. He, Peter and Sirius all waved at him, but he just yelled back, "I think 'd like to stay here for a while."

The guys shrugged and walked away. Judging by the name-calling he heard shortly after, Remus guessed that they had run into Severus Snape, another sixth year. He was a Slytherin, however.

Remus sighed as the sounds died down, and he realised that he was the only one left in the stands. Or outside at all. It was winter; no one liked being outside during the winter.

He glanced skyward, then back to where his friends had gone. It had begun snowing again, and his friends' tracks were quickly covered. It was Christmas break, and Remus knew he should've been happy, but he was a melancholy person. Although, the more time he spent with the guys, the less serious and pensive he was. He smiled. He didn't know what he would do without them.

He looked back towards the direction they had gone warmly- and jumped.

There, in the snow, was a black shape, making its way towards him. A person. A girl.

She walked to the bottom of the stands and looked up at him.

"Are you Remus Lupin?" she called.

"Yes," he replied, confused.

She ran up the stairs and asked, "Can I sit here?"

"Won't the seat of your pants get wet?"

She smiled and drew her wand. It was abnormally long and black, and she tapped the bench and whispered something. Some of the snow cleared away and she sat. He noticed she was left-handed.

"Hey," he said. He thought he knew her from somewhere, but he couldn't imagine where. The school? Asked a smug voice in his head. He frowned at it mentally.

"You seem to know who I am. Who are you?" he asked.

"Sincerity Inkwell." She said.

"Pretty name," he said conversationally.

"Thanks." She looked over at the Quidditch pitch musingly.

His eyes strayed from her carefully kept eyebrows down to the symbol on her robes, on her chest. She covered it quickly with a hand, and said, "What are you looking at?"

He looked back at her. She was staring at him peculiarly. He blushed as he realised what it must have seemed like.

"I just wanted to know what house you're in," he stammered.

"A lot of people guess at that," she said with a smile.

"So, what house is it?" he pressed. "I didn't see."

"That's for me to know," she answered curtly.

"And me to find out?" he asked wearily.

"No," she replied. "It's for you to never know."

"I'll find out."

"Not today, you won't."

He rolled his eyes. "My, you're contrary. You're deliberately being obstinate, so you must be a Slytherin."

She laughed lightly. "So, everyone who disagrees with you is in Slytherin, are they? I suppose that if I liked knee-length socks, that would make me a Slytherin, too?"

He gaped. "Knee-length socks?"

She laughed again. "Never mind. Do you also thin that liking sporks makes one a Ravenclaw?"

He shook his head slowly; still staring in disbelief, then came to.

"What did you come here for? And aren't you freezing? You're not wearing a scarf."

"If I wore on of those scarves you'd know what house I was in."

"What's with you and the houses?"

"Nothing."

There was a perplexing silence.

"You never answered my question." He stated.

"And which question would that be?" she said, somewhat mockingly.

He put his hands on her shoulders so she'd look at him. And she did, looking mildly shocked. "What. Did. You. Come. Here. For." He said clearly. It pleased him to note that he was taller than she was by about three to five inches.

She smiled shyly leaned in and kissed him quickly.

Then she pulled away.

He was feeling a bit dazed.

"Oh..." he said slowly, running a hand through his light brown hair. "You want to...kiss?"

She blushed. He took it as a yes.

"You want to kiss _me_?"

"Who else would I want to kiss?"

He didn't catch the sarcasm.

"Now?"

"I may not see you again?"

"Why's that?"

She didn't answer. He rolled his eyes and said in defeat, "So what's your plan, then? Snog now, analyse later?"

She raised her eyebrows.

"Silent beauty," he snorted. It was almost funny; she was being awfully quiet, but she wasn't really much to look at. Not ugly, just inordinately ordinary.

"I'm no beauty," she said softly, leaning closer. He took her by the shoulders and she wrapped her arms around his back, and he leaned in to kiss her.

"Remus," she said suddenly, their faces inches away.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Don't ever make fun of me about this," she warned.

"Why would I?"

"No reason."

And so he shrugged and kissed her.

Twenty minutes later----

"Hey, Moony!" yelled Sirius, looking for his friend. There was no answer. He sighed and ran over to the Quidditch pitch, hoping he hadn't fallen asleep.

He walked over to the stands and saw Remus-

Oh. My. God.

He walked halfway up the stands.

Oh. My. Friggin'. God.

Remus was there. Kissing- no, s_nogging_ a girl. A really plain girl. I mean, usually the scenario goes something like...see drop-dead gorgeous girl, she says, hey, I'll snog you for a galleon, and the guy goes, hey, sure, or he says, no way.

Remus was not the type to pay money to snog. And no guy would pay money to snog her. Definitely not.

She was different, though; maybe that was what he liked about her.

Sirius grinned, and subtle not being his style, he ran up and stood in front of them for a few minutes. It was sort of amusing to watch, and he had to be very careful to keep from sniggering. She had her hands in his hair, and every so often, she moaned softly. Occasionally the occasional "Remus, please" or "Oh, Sincerity" could be heard, and Sirius would have to shove his fist in his mouth.

Well, it was certainly payback, especially after all those times Remus, James and Peter had caught Sirius with a girl- he couldn't think of how many times or how many girls, he lost track somewhere around sixteen- as in, in a broom closet. As in, insane giggling and moaning punctuated every so often by a girl shrieking, "You dog!" before going back to giggling. And Remus was supposed to be the one with all the self-control!

So eventually Sirius tapped them each on the shoulder and said, "Sorry, am I interrupting anything?" cheerfully.

The reaction was funny and predictable; they jumped apart, mortified, and both blushed scarlet.

"Having fun?" Sirius asked.

"Er, well, er, actually..." Remus started, and Sirius howled with laughter.

"Hey!" the girl cried in indignance.

"What's wrong with you, Sincerity?" Sirius asked in mock concern.

"That's not...how did you know my name?"

"Must've heard from Remus." Sirius said with a wink. She blushed and they all started to walk down the stands.

"Hey, Sincerity, what house are you..." Sirius trailed off. "Where are you going?"

She had started to walk towards a cluster of trees. "Gotta get something," she replied.

"Oh," he said, then ran up and caught her arm. "Wait!"

"What?"

"Can't let Remus have all the fun," he replied, and kissed her. She slapped him.

"Padfoot, you dog!"

"That's what they all say, isn't it?"

She waved at Remus. "Oh, bye! I'll see you later!" then she turned to Sirius. "You watch yourself," she growled, but she was smiling.

Then she dashed behind the trees.

Sirius and Remus headed back when Remus suddenly stopped, frozen.

"We've never met her before."

"I know that, I'm not stupid,' Sirius said, wrinkling his nose. "So?"

"So how'd she know your nickname?"

Sirius froze, too. Then they both ran back, following her footprints in the snow.

The footprints stopped with out warning.

"Weird," remarked Sirius slowly, scratching his head.

"It's like she disappeared," whispered Remus.

Two minutes later----

A girl in Hogwarts robes and covered in snow despite the fact that it was August rushed to her computer and started composing an email:

Monikka-

I just snogged Remus! And Sirius kissed me, grr. : ) we should go back sometime soon, and you can snog the boy of your choice.

Write me back.

-Sincerity

_a/n: I had the most fun ever!!!!!! Yay! I hope you all got all that, that's the memory that Remus was checking out in chapter 3 of BTT._


	2. Charm12 & James

_Disclaimer: James Potter is not mine, he's Charm12's! lawyers enter uh, hehehe, sorry, Charm, James is Jk Rowling's....take that, you fiends!_

_a/n: Not very many of us in here. This is for you, Charm12._

James swooped down off the field from his broomstick, letting go and pounding the air with his fists in triumph as the disheartened Hufflepuffs got off. It took half the team to get him to come down.

"Hey, Padfoot, wasn't I amazing?" he shouted to a boy running over. (cue: fangirls giggle)

Sirius brushed his hair out of his eyes. "Yeah, I'd say that was pretty good," he said with a grin. "Best Chaser in Hogwarts, as always."

James smiled at him. "Hey, let's stay out here a bit," he suggested when his other friends, Peter and Remus came over.

Peter looked apologetic. "Sorry, James, but I have to finish that essay on transfiguration," he said sheepishly.

"Aw, Wormtail," scoffed Sirius, "you have plenty of time, it's Friday afternoon."

"And a Hogsmeade weekend," added Peter. Sirius shrugged.

"Good point," he said. Peter jogged up to the castle. He wasn't that chubby, but he certainly wasn't lean like the other three, and he wasn't as tall, either.

"Shameful," said Sirius, shaking his head. The trio walked over towards the cluster of trees that was so infamous with them and sat in the shade. Their fourth year was almost over.

"Brings back memories, eh?" Sirius mentioned. "I snogged countless girls back there, you know." He jabbed his thumb towards the shade behind the trees.

"No kidding," laughed James. "So, what did you think of the game?" he asked Remus.

"I thought it was-"

They were interrupted by some noises behind there. Snogging? No, there were girl's voices. (a/n: no more slash!!!) Slytherin spies? They didn't sound it.

"Charm, you stepped on me!' hissed Girls' Voice #1. It sounded like it hurt. "Oh, my poor toes..."

"Quit whining!" said Girl's Voice #2. "Is Jamesie really close by?"

"I'm the f#%ing author, of course he is!" whispered Girls' Voice #1.

"Watch your language," snapped Girl #2. She walked out from behind the trees, in a tank top and shorts. James' jaw dropped open. Sirius grinned and Remus couldn't suppress a smile.

"No more pining over Evans," said Sirius in Remus' ear.

"Hey, I'm James!" he called to her. The girl squealed and ran over, yelling, "You're my new favorite author, Sincerity!!"

"Sincerity?" echoed Remus in disbelief. Sirius raised an eyebrow at him.

Remus blushed furiously and looked away but Sirius elbowed him, smirking.

"Hey, Jamesie, I'm Charm. Oh, can I call you that?"

James nodded. She giggled. "Hey, let's go back behind the trees and, er, practice tying shoes."

James nodded again and let her drag him away. They pushed past a sullen-looking, slender girl stepping out from the trees. She brushed her clothes off and glared at the pair in disgust, then continued walking towards Sirius and Remus, muttering sourly to herself. Remus and Sirius exchanged looks and overheard a bit of her speech: "Just look at the state of my clothes!!...bleedin' fangirls, at least this isn't a Sirius situation, then I'd have a herd of screaming groupies on my hands, and why the bloody hell me, anyway?...god, this is random. Oh, well, at least I look fairly decent this time."

She looked up. "Hey, guys," she sighed. "I'd let you accompany him, but he's kind of busy."

Sirius laughed. "Yeah, I got that!" he said.

Remus didn't look her in the eye. She noticed he was pretty uncomfortable.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh? Nothing," he stammered. Sirius winked at him and he turned crimson.

"Right," she said skeptically, but didn't push it. Sirius eyed her clothes- a black t-shirt, black bracelets, dark blue jeans and black shoes.

"Sincerity, you've...changed." He voiced.

"For the better, I hoped. Why?" she asked, not really focused, sitting down between the pair.

"No reason," he said, and changed the subject. "So, what did you drop by for?"

"I'm chaperoning a rabid fangirl," she said sarcastically.

"A fangirl? How come James gets a fangirl?" complained Sirius.

"Because if I brought all of your fangirls, I would need a circus tent and a whip to keep them all in check," she said, looking over at the sky.

Sirius nodded. "Cool," he said. "So does that make you the lion tamer or what?"

Sincerity looked over at Remus, who was "not listening" to the conversation. She socked his arm playfully.

"Nah. I'm just a werewolf tamer," she laughed.

Sirius laughed- then stopped laughing. Remus turned around to stare at her, his mouth slightly open. Sincerity looked back and forth between them, confused, then cowered a bit and whispered, "Oh, shit."

"How do you know Remus is a werewolf?" Sirius gasped. Remus glared at him,

"I mean, what makes you think he's one?" he said hastily.

She took a deep breath. "I can't tell you."

"Okay, whatever," said Remus incredulously, then stopped looking at her.

"What house are you in?" Sirius asked.

She squinted at him. "What is with you and the damn houses?!"

"Nothing," he replied. He looked over at Remus, who was still "not listening".

"Hey, would you two mind being alone?" he asked. "I've got to check up on Peter."

He got up and left. He would have loved to sneak up on them again, but the twin shocked stares they gave him as he walked away was enough. (a/n: more Sirius in upcoming chapters, sorry! He needs a group of fangirls.)

There was a silence.

"Hey, Sincerity," Remus said awkwardly.

"Hey, Remus." Sincerity glanced over, then quickly looked away. "Wow, I never imagined this'd be so....hard."

"Yeah," Remus said uneasily. There was another silence. Then Remus said, "So- do you want to- well, you know."

They listened to the noises emanating form the area behind the trees.

Sincerity shuddered. "Not like that, I don't."

"Thank God." Remus said, relieved.

"Thank God that I do, or thank god that I don't want to like that?"

Remus thought for a moment. "Both," he said finally.

She brushed away the hair in his face and he laughed softly, then pulled her closer and kissed her. And she kissed him back. And since they were in a secluded place, he kissed her a bit more fiercely then he normally did. And she responded with equal passion. And soon it was full-fledged snogging.

But it's not that terrible. I mean, they could be Charm and James. Urgh.

Two hours later----

"Remus, oh, Remus, please," sincerity moaned, tangling her hands in his hair.

"Sincerity, oh god."

And that would've continued so fluffily I dare not write it if a voice hadn't shrieked,

"James! You bastard!" and then giggled.

Remus and Sincerity brought their lips apart, still in eachother's arms, as the cliché goes. But both of them being more sensible than romantic, they soon broke away entirely.

Then Sincerity fell back into his arms and he leaned back, calm. They looked at the sky.

"Isn't this typical?" scoffed Remus, not harshly.

"Yeah," said Sincerity, gazing at the sky. Remus followed her eyes.

"I mean, look," he said. "It's sunset."

"Mmmhhmmm," Sincerity murmured. She sunk into his arms again.

This fact took 6.8 seconds to sink in.

They bolted upright and both shrieked, "SUNSET???"

Remus was up on his feet, and he helped her up. "I guess I'll see you," he said softly.

"Yeah."

"Hopefully soon."

"Thanks," she blushed again, and waved him good-bye. She looked after him a bit, a little quiet moment, one of the few quiet moments of Sincerity Inkwell. Then she went back behind the trees, pulled the lust-crazed pair off one another, and somehow managed to keep them apart long enough to transport herself and Charm12 back to fanfiction dot net.

At Fanfiction dot net:

Charm12's abode- "Wow! I am so happy!" Charm dances around a bit.

Sincerity Inkwell's: "I can't believe I messed with his memories like that. Remus is gonna kill me when a get a back to BTT." A pause. "Everyone's gonna kill me when I get back to BTT! I can' t believe I cancelled last chapter!" A shorter pause. "Lunar Blade and IloveMoony04 are gonna kill me, too." Another pause, then, panicky: "All of the Remus fangirls are gonna kill me! Where's Chloe? I gotta move in with her RIGHT NOW!"

Sincerity franticly searches fanfiction dot net for someone who will let her stay with them for a time in hopes to avoid the enraged Remus fangirls.

At Hogwarts again:

"Hey, Remus, you have red lipstick on your lips." James said with a sly grin. Remus looked completely embarrassed as he wiped off Sincerity's gothic style dark, blood red lipstick.

Then he looked back at James and grinned. "You have bright red lipstick on your lips." James wiped it off hurriedly. "All gone?"

"Don't forget your teeth," Remus laughed. James blushed and wiped them off, too.

"That it?"

"You have it on your collar, too." James looked really embarrassed now.

"Now?"

"Don't forget your pants. Oh, you might want to button those top buttons on your shirt back up."

James paled and got with the buttoning.

"Now?"

"Well, let's get you to the infirmary. I'm sure no one will ask where you got those bite marks on your neck..."

Remus could be heard laughing all the way up to school, and even though it was really hot out, James potter wore a scarf for a week.

_Well, I thought it was funny. Hopefully next up: Lily and Atrus!_


	3. The pie, the spork and the snog

_Disclaimer: did I do this yet? Well, Lily's not Atrus', she's James's, and James is Charm's (aack! No more lawyers!) and JK Rowling is Queen of the Harry Potter verse._

_Monikka: I'm glad you like- hey, do you want to snog someone in a time zone? Any time zone will do, I'll even let you have Tom back in the 40s! (heehee, I'm feeling awfully generous today.)_

_Julie: glad you like. Want to have a go at Remus sometime? I'll be nice!_

_Smidgeon: oh, yes, you have no idea! I'm not a huge David Thewlis fan- I was so sad! And if Sirius isn't damn fine I'll ---starts ripping papers madly----_

_Tessie: Sure thing! How about next chapter?_

_Midnight: You can sympathize with Snape, since you like him. And I don't mean like that, you sick perverts reading this! (but if you want a chapter in random, just write me, it's fun to write!)_

_Atrus: happy now? Hey, what's your email address? I demand that you explain to me the manner of sporks!! If you can't find it, it's _

_And okay, people, thank-yous are over- hoo boy, now to the easy stuff..._

"James Potter, you are an unbelievable git!" shrieked Lily as she stormed out of the school, past the poor Slytherin boy completely covered in oatmeal. Behind him were the perpetrators- James Potter, still in that ridiculous scarf of his (he wouldn't take it off, no matter what, and whenever anyone mentioned it Sirius and Remus started howling with laughter!) and looking extremely disappointed, Sirius Black, laughing his mad head off, Peter Pettigrew, laughing so hard he was sitting, and Remus Lupin, looking a bit ashamed but still trying- and failing- to keep a straight face.

Lily couldn't stand the way that Gryffindor jerk behaved! What had poor Severus ever done to them, she wondered angrily, as she walked towards the abandoned Quidditch pitch. She was so glad she was a Ravenclaw. If the Sorting Hat had tried to stick her in his house, she would have gone home to Petunia in a snap!

She was still grumbling by the time she had reached a clearing of trees. Her friend Jennie (a/n: hope you're reading this!) had snogged Sirius Black about a thousand times back there, even though Lily wouldn't have touched him even if her life had depended on it. Lily could see why—that was a very secluded little section of trees, that; Lily found it useful at this particular moment.

She sat down and took a deep breath. She heard footsteps in the grass behind her and she yelled, "Potter, if you come a step further, I'm going to hex you all the way to first year!"

A voice replied. "I'm not James Potter."

She snorted a little, relieved. "Okay, then."

The person went over to sit by her. "Hey," they said. "You look pretty sad."

Lily looked up at the speaker. It was a boy, and he looked a bit concerned for her, but not as though he was scared. "Just angry, I guess."

"Well, I bet I know what would cheer you up," he said- cheerily- and pulled out his wand. Lily managed a laugh.

"What, a cheering charm?" she asked.

"Don't be silly,' he replied matter-of-factly. "Those wear off. No, what you need is pie."

Lily gaped. "Pie?"

He nodded, and asked, "What sort of pie do you like?"

Lily giggled. "You can't be serious."

"Why not? Really, what kind of pie would you like?"

Lily looked at him strangely, then said, "Lemon meringue."

He smiled and conjured up a slice of lemon meringue pie- without the plate. It landed in Lily's hand.

"Er, thanks," she said.

"Sorry," he said, apologetically, and conjured a plate. Lily put it on the plate, then looked up at him.

"I don't have a fork."

He looked outraged. "Fork?" he exclaimed. "Who needs a fork?"

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a –spoon? No. Fork? Not exactly.

"This, my dear, is a spork." He informed her proudly.

"Wow. Thanks, er...." Lily thought. "You never told me your name."

"Atrus Valentein." He answered, extending his hand. Lily shook it.

"Hi. I'm Lily Evans. Thanks for the pie, the plate and the spork." She said.

"No problem." He said, and sat back as she cautiously scooped/cut a piece of pie (what's the word used when you're using a spork?) and put in her mouth.

"Mmm." She said, then swallowed. "Hey, this is really good!"

"I should hope so!" Atrus laughed. "Go ahead, eat it!"

And she did. She very much enjoyed the pie. He talked to her a bit, about Ravenclaws, and Gryffindors, and this one girl he knew who he thought was a Ravenclaw but she wouldn't tell him, and anyway, she liked Remus Lupin.

"Yeah, I used to like him," Lily said, licking the spork. "But he's been corrupted by that Potter."

Atrus nodded and let her keep eating.

When she was done, he banished the empty plate and she handed the spork to him.

"No, that's okay," he said generously, "you can keep it."

She grinned. "Really?"

"Would I lie?"

She thought about it. "Probably not. You're a Ravenclaw."

He nodded, and she pocketed the now-hers spork.

"So, wanna snog?" she asked.

"Sure," Atrus replied.

So, they snogged a bit. And snogged some more.

Later------

"Sirius, am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?" James spluttered.

"Yeah, sorry, mate," Sirius said with a shrug. "But there's still Charm."

James brightened. Considerably. They were spying on the hedges, as they had wanted to do Saturday. But Saturday had been a Hogsmeade weekend, and they had to do it Sunday instead.

Waiting to see where Sincerity and Charm came from.

Then James frowned. "They last time Remus saw Sincerity, it was Christmas vacation, right? So what if we don't see them again until next year?"

Sirius grinned. "Feel jealous of the guy snogging Lily."

So James did. He was insanely jealous. (a/n: I have a quirky writing style in this one, but I'm trying to appease crazy/charismatic Ravenclaw boys everywhere!!)

Later still-----

Atrus and Lily broke away, and Lily was happier than any Cheering charm could have made her.

"Thanks for the pie, the spork, and the snog!" Lily called back to him as she left.

"Yep!" Atrus called back. Then, whistling a song that neither James nor Sirius had ever heard before (a/n: Weasely Is Our King! He must've learned the tune from Luna cos I sure as hell don't know it.), he walked to the spot behind the hedges where Sincerity and Charm had come from.

James and Sirius watched intently. POOF! A very frazzled looking girl in a black skirt and shirt with dress robes over it appeared, arms folded and sulking.

Atrus stopped whistling. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing," she replied. I'm just mad that I have a major writer's block."

"Sincerity, you write about two chapters a day, besides the weekend," he insisted. "Stop fussing. I had fun."

She scowled at him. "Aw, just go home. I have to think of some way to end this chapter within the next page."

Atrus shrugged and POP! Disapparated.

Sincerity walked over to the hedges. "Hey, James, Sirius," she called. "I know you're in there, come out."

They did.

"What the-?" James started but she put her hand over his mouth bossily, like an older sister. A bit like how Bellatrix treated Sirius, actually.

"Don't say a word," she warned, then turned to Sirius. "Don't worry, you're next. And then maybe you'll be next again."

James frowned. Sirius grinned.

"I get to snog twice! Ha!"

"Yes, probably more than that, but it's partially because you have more than one girl to snog." Sincerity said casually. Sirius looked smug, then upset, then confused.

"Is that a good thing?" he asked.

James started laughing, so Sincerity took her hand away.

"Anyway, I'll see you guys," she said, walking away.

"Wait!" Sirius called. She turned.

"Are you gonna visit Remus again?" James asked. She smiled.

"Maybe, but he might get a few other visits first," she replied, then POOF! She vanished.

Sirius and James were eager to get back to Hogwarts.

"I wonder what Remus'll say," said James, excited.

Meanwhile-----

"I wonder what Remus'll say, too," sighed Sincerity Inkwell, staring at her BTT folder in anguish. "Oh, man......"

_The end, again. And yes, Sirius and Tessie are next chapter. I need more pairings for this one, and maybe not just for the Marauders? Sevvie's getting lonely—okay, no throwing of rotten food, that's bad form!!_


End file.
